them. A lot of problems that many couples face involve sex. How often should you be having it? How much is too much? And, what happens when your partner wants less sex than you do? Here, we take a look at what happens when your partner has a lower libido than you.
You feel crazy for having needs. Just because you have a higher libido than your significant other doesn’t mean your crazy! Don’t let this one thing eat away at an otherwise healthy relationship.
It’s always your problem. You’re the unreasonable sexaholic! It’s your problem for wanting too much sex, not theirs! But, you shouldn’t feel like a failure because your partner doesn’t feel like getting frisky—no matter how sucky the situation is.
You’re always secretly getting yourself off while your S.O. is sleeping or out. It feels desperate and makes you feel like sh*t. Point blank.
You wonder if there’s someone else. You overanalyze everything and obsessively look for answers.
You complain about it to all of your friends. And they’re so sick of hearing about it. You can’t talk about it with your honey, so you unleash the sexual frustration (literally) onto them.
Or you keep having the same conversation. You want sex, so you ask for it. And you get turned down. You feel terrible. It’s a cycle and it sucks.
You question if they have some crazy kink that they aren’t letting on about. And don’t know how to encroach on the topic without sounding insensitive.
Your confidence has plummeted. Being sexually rejected, no matter how confident you are, can be damaging to your ego. So, what’s a person to do?
You can rekindle the flame... The best approach is open and honest communication. Bring touch back by expanding upon foreplay; try experimenting with toys!
Consider physical causes… Encourage your partner to talk openly with their doctor about their sex drive if they’re having trouble discussing it with you. There can be a variety of health issues that decreases a man or woman’s libido.
Compromising... If you’re trying to bone twice a week but your partner just wants to get down and dirty about twice a month, you can meet in the middle by compromising. Compromise should not make you feel bad, either! Have sex every week or so; it won’t be the ideal situation for either of you, but you both presumably want to make each other happy.
You can redefine sex... Try redefining what sex means to the both of you! You can try mutual masturbation or even solo-masturbation while the other partner is holding the other/watching. You can even delve into the world of phone sex, erotica or even sexting. There are a number of alternatives to make you and your partner feel sexually satisfied (as well as emotionally and romantically) without any means of penetration.
Trying an open relationship... This is not for everyone! But, it’s worth exploring/trying. If your mismatched libidos are such an issue that you are considering leaving your S.O., why not give it a shot?
Couples counseling… If you have tried everything with your partner and have been unsuccessful, you may need professional help. Couples counseling, relationship therapy or sex therapy can resolve your sexual conflicts. For most couples, mis-matched libidos can be a symptom of a problem, not a cause. A professional can help you get to the root of this
Anyone could tell you to just break up with your partner if the issues involving sex are that bad, but it’s a lot tougher than that. Relationships are precious and you should examine all of your options before giving your significant other the boot over their poor libido.