Wouldn’t it be cool if your alarm clock could give you an orgasm? It certainly sounds like a more enjoyable way to make someone wake up because seriously, who wants to listen to an alarm that sounds like a nuclear meltdown’s in progress? Obviously, we hate alarm clocks for a very good reason. They’re extremely annoying. On the other hand, without them, we’d probably be late for class and fail the semester, or get fired for being late to work too many times. But imagine if your alarm clock could flick your proverbial bean and wake you with an orgasm?
Well, it turns out there’s a vagina alarm clock that will wake you with an orgasm.
Now that’s a far better alternative than the annoying sound of repeated beeping or the blasting of music to get you out of bed.
At least this way, you’ll get off in bed before you get out of bed.
You’ll never feel cranky in the morning ever again, but for obvious reasons, this particular alarm clock was designed for women only. Sorry boys!
This nifty little invention will certainly go a long way towards pleasing women.
It’s certainly nicer than those alarm clocks we absolutely loathe, even though we really do need them to help us get the day started.
Most people wake up totally cranky when our alarm clocks go off.
It’s not the clock’s fault. You’re the fool that set the alarm. But nobody wants to start their day off feeling irritated or annoyed, especially because this can cause you to lash out at your kids, boyfriend, or husband.
Fortunately, this alarm clock now has the power to give women an orgasm.
But if you’re wondering how, it’s easy. It uses love vibrations to get a woman off, which will likely make her never want to hit the snooze button or turn it off.
The alarm clock is designed with creature comfort in mind.
It will fit quite snug in your underwear and sit there while you sleep. Then it will give your lady friend and you the wake up call of your lives.
It’s called Gallus Et Mulier, or rather, the Little Rooster, and it’s one hell of a sex toy.
It’s also thin and slim, so your man, or woman, will never know that you’re wearing one, but they might get a bit suspicious when they hear you moaning like a banshee as you climax.
Unlike with your partner, you won’t be disappointed by the Little Rooster’s performance.
It’ll wake you up very slowly, sensually, and pleasurably. It’s also got 27 ultra-quiet levels of intensity, and 3 mega-loud ones for those of you who are heavy sleepers.
This kinky clock will give women a reason to want to wake up in the morning.
Trust us, with this saucy new alarm, you’ll never want to stay in bed to sleep a little longer, but you might end up staying in bed until it gets you off.
The Little Rooster is literally the world’s first alarm clock designed for women.
It can give your vagina the jump start it needs and everything else in between until you’re gasping and your toes are curling in ecstasy.
Unlike your regular and boring alarm clock, the Little Rooster has a Snorgasm.
The intention is the same as a snooze button, but this one vibrates for the initial wake-up call, and then it vibrates again after 10 minutes. Never has snoozing sounded like so much fun.
The Little Rooster has a travel lock to avoid embarrassment.
This way, you’ll be able to wear it, but you can control when it can vibrate so you don’t wind up with a flushed face like Katherine Heigl when she orgasmed in the restaurant in “The Ugly Truth.”
You can also personalize your vibrator the way you do your smartphone.
You can adjust how the vibrations start, their pace, when they peak, the snorgasm level, and how intense you want the vibrations to be.
We’d love to see if the sex toy in your night table can do what the Little Rooster can.
It’s got different motors for different levels of power, and they’re all designed to make you feel oh-so good.
When you think about it, you can kill two birds, or in this case, two roosters, with one stone.
If you don’t have a regular vibrator, you can always use the Little Rooster to get yourself off, because there’s nothing in the owner’s manual that says that you can’t.
You don’t have to worry too much about hygiene with this alarm clock.
It’s made up of a polycarbonate wipe-clean surface that is non-porous. So washing it is super easy, and it also doesn’t contain any phthalates, which have been known to cause harm.
You won’t have to worry about waking anyone else up with this alarm clock.
Most people who have to share the same room, often end up irritating someone else when their alarm goes off. But the Little Rooster is so quiet that the only way you’ll wake someone up is if she scream when you achieve a ground shattering orgasm.
It’s actually quite affordable too, so they make a perfect gift.
You can buy it for your BFF, just make sure she has a vagina, or men can buy it for their girlfriends while they’re away on business, and it’ll only set you back $69. That’s not a bad price and you’ll get a whole lot of pleasure.
The intensity settings aren’t the only thing that vary with the Little Rooster.
You can also pick the color, which comes in either purple, pink or white. It’s also about the size of a regular iPhone, which makes it easy to carry or hide.
You have to give lots of praise to the genius, and possibly slightly deviant inventor.
After all, is there a better way to start the day than this? Coming up with a way for women to greet the morning with a smile using a vibrator alarm clock is worth a lot of praise from the female community.
The appearance of the Little Rooster is inconspicuous, which is great when you have kids in the house.
Now if your little boy or girl goes around snooping through your drawers, or you carelessly leave it on top of the night table, you won’t have to worry about it attracting any attention. After all, it looks like a timer you’d use in the kitchen.
It can also give you a happy ending when you’re having a sex dream.
How often have you had a sex dream of you and Chris or Liam Hemsworth, or maybe both at the same time, but you woke up before you got off because of your stupid alarm clock. At least this alarm will get you off and prevent you from winding up with blue tubes.
The vibrating leg will stimulate your clitoris and labia.
And since the gentle vibrations actually begin five minutes before you actually need to get out of bed, you can ease your way into consciousness in a sexy sort of way.
The only issue we can foresee is for women who like to sleep in the nude.
Since the Little Rooster is only snug when you’re actually wearing underwear, this could be an issue if you’re a nude sleeper. But maybe the inventor can come up with a strap-on Little Rooster.
This might also backfire too, as many of us won’t want to get out of bed.
Who’d want to when they’re savoring the sensations that the Little Rooster is giving them down there? It’ll feel so um, um good that you’ll probably call in sick.
The Little Rooster alarm is perfect for women who want to wake up feeling sexy.
Who could blame women for snapping up this gadget? It’s like the answer that lonely women, and women who are sexually frustrated with their partners have been waiting for.
So far, women have had nothing but positive reviews about the product.
In fact, some women have allegedly used them while they were out on Tinder dates, which doesn’t say much about the guy they were seeing, but plenty about the Little Rooster.
It can also improve your sex life exponentially as well.
One customer wrote a review which stated that she worse the Little Rooster twenty minutes beforehand, and it made a huge difference as foreplay before having sex with her husband.
It can also be a huge time saver when you’re trying to get off faster with your partner.
The truth is that a lot of couples don’t have time for foreplay because they’re super busy. At least this way, the Little Rooster will have them all warmed up for when their partner is ready to fully penetrate them.
The kinky device has already proven to be extremely popular.
In fact, it was so popular that it sold out, forcing manufacturers to create more to meet the demands. But for all you guys who are feeling a bit left out, don’t worry, the makers of Little Rooster are already working on a device just for you in the near future.